Everything You Know About Confidence is a Lie

Written by Khansa Batool

First off, confidence is not about believing in self. That’s lie number one.

Stay with me and I’ll take you through the two biggest lies we are taught about confidence, and then give you three powerful tips to increase your own self-confidence.

Lie # 1 Confidence is about believing in yourself

It’s fairly common to hear the phrase, “You can do anything by believing in yourself.”

Now, while that is in part true, the idea is based on a misconception.

Because believing in yourself does not actually make you confident, because confidence is paired with action (more on that later).

Lie # 2 You’re either born with confidence, or not

Some people are bold by nature, or develop boldness by being raised in a way that built their courage. These peeps are blessed with the courage to take action. (There’s that word again!)

But the truth is, that while some may be born to be bold, more often than not, their environment has shaped them – either they’ve been raised in a way that builds self-confidence, or they’ve had experiences which have shaped them by changing their beliefs about themselves.

What confidence really is

According to Mel Robbins, a CNN commentator, author, and motivational speaker,

“Confidence is a willingness to try and then to take action.”

Say what? Here’s the gem of this article: when you are willing to try and you  take action, it builds belief inside of you that you can “do this”. When you take action, it is evidence that you can genuinely believe in yourself.

That is why affirmations don’t always reap the reward – because without action, there’s no evidence that you can “do this” and confidence cannot be based on something as superficial as mere lip service.

Confidence is not belief in self, rather a decision to try and take action.

Now what? Here are three powerful methods to develop your self-confidence:

#1: Take action

When you muster up the courage to take action, your inner self recognizes you as someone who can achieve results.

This gives your mind a reason to put trust in your abilities, and practiced often enough, will give you real, unshakeable confidence.

What is boils down to, is motivating yourself to act.

#2: Learn from your mistakes

Are you the kind of person who tries to learn from the mistakes you make?

If you gather the courage to act, and somehow it goes wrong, you still are in the right direction, provided that you learn from what went wrong.

Chances are you’ll get fruitful results after some time. And this my friend, will give you confidence.

# 3: Do what you love

I learned this one all by myself: doing what you’re passionate about makes you confident.

That’s because when you’re passionate about something, you tend to be curious and that curiosity sparks a desire to know more so that you can get better.

Wrapping up

Confidence starts, sometimes with self-discipline or courage, which pushes us to take action, which builds self-belief, and this in turn leads to genuine self-confidence.

You’ve read the article. Now for some action:

Think of one area in which you’d like to build self-confidence and take one action right now. Then make a habit of taking action. After you’ve done that a while, stop a moment and consider how your self-confidence has increased.

Finally, if this article helped you, tell me how by dropping a comment.

Claire Carradice

Claire Carradice is the founder of Reset Exchange, a resource that helps people reset their minds in order to experience the fullness of life and the wonder of God.

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